moleslog045292007

Why does nothing that feels like a solution have to do with practicality, with the problem I'm facing? I'm so happy I forgot about the plant for a couple of hours, like a complete fool. On some level, insanity must become a strategic decision, as internals become more pressing than what two of us can see or touch.

Stupidity's addictive. Cliff says he's starting a basketball game among the workers, and I decide on the whim to accept, to throw Branley off. It hardly makes sense, when I think of it, since Branley has to at least know I leave the office with papers. Maybe I'll convince him I'm a fool, and he'd better go away or ignore me. My photocopy logistics will get worse, but I can hardly imagine I will last long anyway.

The game was fun in its way -- the basketball -- ties pulling on and off, hustling back to the office, shirts too sweaty and tight. I'm too bullnecked for the clip-ons, so I'm half-standing in the back of Cliff's mustang, trying to get my neck in his rear-view and get the damned noose tied while he careens around the downtown alleys he seems to know. The guys laugh and swear at my awkwardness; "Five minutes" Cliff keeps promising. I'm thrilled to worry about getting in to work late: piss-all, maybe they'll lay me off. I might be lucky that way. Rudy's on about a class-action suit, but all he means is that LISG doesn't have the right to take back our work.

"We're temps, Rood." Could there be a case?

"We still have rights. No one does this."

If LISG offered to hire me on permanent, what would I do? I do feel some responsibility to stay on, to get as much as I can.Sometimes I even wish LISG would catch me, just so the fear would end. That scares me.

I will exit somehow. It's like Fabienne talking about her own considerations when the doctors diagnosed her leukemia. As she put it,

"I tried a class action suit. I thought it would work, you know, many people die, no one cares. I had been a small role in a movie. I am young enough men will feel sorry for me.

"But I spoke to a lawyer, no? He said my chance of leukemia was a few percentage points higher for the background radiation of the plant. There might be some chance, perhaps, a class action suit. Who wants to live in court with cameras?"

Maybe Carl makes the most sense. Stealing from LISG is a drunkard's walk.
You may know the old problem in logic. A drunkard walks north with a street at his right and a wall at his left. He stumbles as easily left as right. Where does he end up?
:

In my case, that means I leave without being caught or LISG catches me. The hour basketball game may be just the thing. It's more a gesture anyway, best because it's pointless, as though we had no idea whom we were flipping off. Which I suppose I don't.