I would like to begin with a quote by Nikanj about humans, but really relating to everyone else but the ooloi, that motivates my whole understanding of the ooloi: “Give them as much as they can take, and no more…Start them slowly, and in only a little time, they will be more willing to give up eating than to give you up” (678). I understand that the ooloi are biologically motivated to manipulate in this way, and can perhaps be thought of as amoral instead of strictly immoral. However, I think it is interesting to examine the relationship between the ooloi and their mates more closely, as simple as it may seem on the surface.
How does this relate to the commitment that the ooloi’s mates show to it and the other partners in the relationship? On the face of things, it would seem that the relationship is purely biological. Lilith is first brought under the sway of Nikanj by his irresistible pheromones, as we find out in Imago, and it is likely that this and the pleasure Nikanj brings her have much to do with her remaining with it throughout the novel. Even though Lilith leaves at some points, she always returns. In any other novel, this would seem sweet; an expression of devotion, but in all likelihood, a large reason for Lilith returning is the irresistible physical manipulation of Nikanj. Nikanj could be seen as the center of its own little harem of genetically viable adults, gathering them to it for exclusively its own purposes.
I think that this is a quite simplistic analysis of what is in fact a much more complex situation. There is more than simple biology going on in the relationship between Lilith and Nikanj. This can be seen in several places. For example, Lilith does not blame Nikanj for the ooloi’s screw-up with Jodahs and Aaor, that requires the entire family to go into exile from their home. She simply uproots her family and takes them away. Another example can be seen in the calm domesticity of the family’s camp in Imago, when Jodahs brings the resister humans back. The ooloi manipulation can only extend so far. Nikanj does not command this sort of calm during all interactions, and his scent brings desire for him, and does not have any kind of explicit calming effect. There is clearly some sort of extra effect from being together as a family unit for so long.
Now all of this could be one manifestation of the exacting psychological control that Nikanj is also able to exert, but given the novel’s emphasis on the biological imperatives of the characters, and its de-emphasis of the psychological roles, I think that it is more likely that the characters are actually committed to Nikanj, and to ooloi in general, in quite a devoted manner.